Blocks to Listening

THE SPEAKER'S CONTROL OF THE MESSAGE: A two-way flow of information keeps listeners focused and involved. If the listener can feel free to keep the speaker posted on what and how the listener is feeling and thinking, and if the listener feels free to break in from time to time to clarify, check out the message, etc. Then the listener is more involved in the message is more likely to listen well and attentively. Sometimes the speaker's control of the message is too rigid and this blocks a two-way flow. Examples: lecturing, advice giving, reprimanding.

ASSUMPTIONS: Avoid clouding up you listening attention with assumptions about what the other person is trying to say, what they really mean, what thy want the listener to do etc. Assumptions are often not accurate and they certainly prevent the listener from focusing on what's being said. If I'm assuming, I'm not listening.

BUZZ WORDS: Most people have private buzz words which have a definite emotional charge, sometimes positive, sometimes negative. When listeners hear their own buzz words, they're apt to reject or accept the whole message on the basis of their instant emotional reaction to the listener, through still apparently listening, has shifted focus to refuting what the speaker has "mistakenly" said.

DISTRACTIONS: Other thing in the Environment, in the listener's own mind, various stimuli that get in the way to truly attending to what another person is saying.

INTERRUPTIONS: In our haste to share our own ideas, we cut others off. This conveys to the speaker that you do not value what they have to say.